grab – хватать
handle – управляться
human – человеческие
lease – брать в лизинг
navy – военно-морские силы
package – пакет, набор
potential – потенциальный
psychiatrist – психиатр
resources – ресурсы
response – реакция, ответ
responsible – ответственный
sailor – моряк
sink – топить
torpedo – торпеда
variety – разнообразие
go wrong – «идти не так»
fresh out of – «свеженький из»
In the neighborhood of… – В районе…
benefits package – набор дополнительных благ и выплат
full medical and dental – полная оплата общемедицинской и стоматологической помощи
company matching retirement fund to 50 % of salary – предоставляемая компанией прибавка к пенсии, составляющая 50 % от оклада.
baby sailor – разг . будущий моряк
Exercise 5
Answer the questions:
1. What was the applicant responsible for on his last job?
2. What made the applicant think that he would be able to handle a variety of work?
3. What starting salary was the young applicant (fresh from the Business School) thinking of?
4. What benefits package was he offered?
5. Who was kidding?
6. What did the young employee imagine?
7. Where would the doctor get the battleship?
8. What would you do if you looked out of the window and saw a battleship coming down the street?Equal Opportunities for All
A business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:
«Help Wanted! Must be able to type, have computer skills, and be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer».
A dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined a bit.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so the manager led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, «I can\'t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.»
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog,
«The sign also says you have to be good with a computer.»
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. He proceeded to enter and execute a perfect spreadsheet that worked flawlessly the first time.
By this time, the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, «I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can\'t give you the job.»
The dog jumped down and went over to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, «Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.»
The dog looked at that manager calmly and said, «Meow!»
Слова и выражения:
ability – способность
bilingual – двуязычный
calm – спокойный
determined – целеустремленный
equal – равный, равноправный
execute – выполнять, исполнять
flawless – безупречный
hire – нанимать на работу
intelligent – умный, сообразительный
paw – лапка
proceed – приступать
к делу, продолжать
spreadsheet – таблица
stun – удивлять, изумлять
trot – бегать (рысью)
wag – махать хвостом
whine – скулить
office help – работа в офисе
a bit – немного, самую малость
to say the least – самое меньшее
dumb-founded – ошеломленный
Meow! – Мяу!
Exercise 6
Answer the questions:
1. What sort of help was the business looking for?
2. What capabilities and skills did an applicant have to demonstrate?
3. What did the dog do when he entered the office?
4. Why did the manager let him in?
5. What did the dog type?
6. What did he work out at the computer?
7. What was the dog\'s second language?More Stories about Applicants
1
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, «Have you ever been arrested?» he answered, «No.»
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was «Why?» The applicant answered it anyway: «Never got caught.»
2
In a job interview for policemen the applicants were shown a profile picture of a man, and the interviewer said, «The job that you\'re applying for requires powers of observation. Make one observation about this man.»
The first applicant entered and said, «This man has just one ear.»
«Get out!!» screamed the interviewer.
The second applicant entered and said, «This man has one ear.»
«Get out!!» screamed the interviewer again.
Then the third applicant got up to go in for his interview.
The first two guys were out there and they told him, «The guy that\'s giving the interview doesn\'t like to hear that the man in the picture has one ear.»
«Thanks for the tip,» said the third applicant.
So the third applicant entered, stared at the picture for a while, and finally said, «This man wears contact lenses.»
The interviewer was impressed. «Excellent observation,» he said. «Tell me, how could you tell?»
And the guy said, «Well, as this man has just one ear, how could he wear glasses?»
3
A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: «You\'re our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor Personnel Office.»
4
A man applied to a finance agency for a job, but he had no experience. He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that if he collected it, he\'d get the job.
Two hours later, the applicant came back with the entire amount.
«Amazing!» the manager said. «How did you do it?»
«Easy,» the applicant replied. «I told him if he didn\'t pay up, I\'d tell all his other creditors he paid us.»
5
"Where did you receive your
training?"
«Yale.»
«Good, and what\'s your name?»
«Yim Yohnson.»
6
When you hire people that are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are.
Слова и выражения:
affirmative – утвердительный
amazing – изумительный; изумительно
arrest – арестовывать
collect – собирать, забирать, инкассировать, получать деньги по долговому обязательству
contact – контактный
creditor – кредитор
envelope – конверт
hallway – коридор
industrial – промышленный
intend – намереваться
intense – интенсивный, настойчивый
jale – тюремная камера
lense – линза
observation – наблюдение
profile – профиль
seal – печать; запечатывать
smart – разг . умный
spy – шпион
tip – разг . совет
tough – трудный, жесткий
in the affirmative – утвердительно
Get out! – разг . Убирайся!
Yale – Йельский университет, один из наиболее престижных в США.
finance agency – финансовое агентство
tough account – «крутой» счет ( здесь : счет, по которому трудно добиться возврата средств)
Exercise 7
Answer the questions:
1. Why hasn\'t the applicant ever been arrested?
2. What positions did the men at the police station apply to?
3. What power were they supposed to demonstrate?
4. How many ears did the man in the picture have, in the first two applicants\' opinion?
5. Why was the applicant to the position of an industrial spy employed?
6. How did the applicant to the finance agency get the job?
7. Where did the man named Jim Johnson really get his training?
8. Will you hire people that are smarter than you are, and why?Work Gives No Satisfaction?
When you have an «I hate my job» day, try this.
On your way home from work, stop at the pharmacy, go to the thermometers section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by «Best Thermo». Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: «Every rectal thermometer made by Best Thermo is personally tested.» Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: «I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Best Thermo Company.»
We guarantee you will feel much more happy with your present occupation.
Labour Force and Unemployment. The Results of a Government Study
For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.