Избранная лирика — страница 9 из 85

                That lap (their very nourishment!) their brother's blood.

                The pains and plagues that on our heads came down,

                Disease and famine, agony and fear,

                In wood or wilderness, in camp or town,

                It would thy brain unsettle even to hear.

                All perished-all, in one remorseless year,

                Husband and children! one by one, by sword

                And ravenous plague, all perished: every tear

                Dried up, despairing, desolate, on board

                A British ship I waked, as from a trance restored.

                Peaceful as some immeasurable plain

                By the first beams of dawning light impress'd,

                In the calm sunshine slept the glittering main.

                The very ocean has its hour of rest,

                That comes not to the human mourner's breast.

                Remote from man, and storms of mortal care,

                A heavenly silence did the waves invest;

                I looked and looked along the silent air,

                Until it seemed to bring a joy to my despair.

                Ah! how unlike those late terrific sleeps!

                And groans, that rage of racking famine spoke,

                Where looks inhuman dwelt on festering heaps!

                The breathing pestilence that rose like smoke!

                The shriek that from the distant battle broke!

                The mine's dire earthquake, and the pallid host

                Driven by the bomb's incessant thunder-stroke

                To loathsome vaults, where heart-sick anguish toss'd,

                Hope died, and fear itself in agony was lost!

                Yet does that burst of woe congeal my frame,

                When the dark streets appeared to heave and gape,

                While like a sea the storming army came,

                And Fire from Hell reared his gigantic shape,

                And Murder, by the ghastly gleam, and Rape

                Seized their joint prey, the mother and the child!

                But from these crazing thoughts my brain, escape!

                — For weeks the balmy air breathed soft and mild,

                And on the gliding vessel Heaven and Ocean smiled.

                Some mighty gulf of separation past,

                I seemed transported to another world: —

                A thought resigned with pain, when from the mast

                The impatient mariner the sail unfurl'd,

                And whistling, called the wind that hardly curled

                The silent sea. From the sweet thoughts of home,

                And from all hope I was forever hurled.

                For me-farthest from earthly port to roam

                Was best, could I but shun the spot where man might come.

                And oft, robb'd of my perfect mind, I thought

                At last my feet a resting-place had found:

                Here will I weep in peace, (so fancy wrought,)

                Roaming the illimitable waters round;

                Here watch, of every human friend disowned,

                All day, my ready tomb the ocean-flood —

                To break my dream the vessel reached its bound:

                And homeless near a thousand homes I stood,

                And near a thousand tables pined, and wanted food.

                By grief enfeebled was I turned adrift,

                Helpless as sailor cast on desert rock;

                Nor morsel to my mouth that day did lift,

                Nor dared my hand at any door to knock.

                I lay, where with his drowsy mates, the cock

                From the cross timber of an out-house hung;

                How dismal tolled, that night, the city clock!

                At morn my sick heart hunger scarcely stung,

                Nor to the beggar's language could I frame my tongue.

                So passed another day, and so the third:

                Then did I try, in vain, the crowd's resort,

                In deep despair by frightful wishes stirr'd,

                Near the sea-side I reached a ruined fort:

                There, pains which nature could no more support,

                With blindness linked, did on my vitals fall;

                Dizzy my brain, with interruption short

                Of hideous sense; I sunk, nor step could crawl,

                And thence was borne away to neighbouring hospital.

                Recovery came with food: but still, my brain

                Was weak, nor of the past had memory.

                I heard my neighbours, in their beds, complain

                Of many things which never troubled me;

                Of feet still bustling round with busy glee,

                Of looks where common kindness had no part,

                Of service done with careless cruelty,

                Fretting the fever round the languid heart,

                And groans, which, as they said, would make a dead

                                                           man start.

                These things just served to stir the torpid sense,

                Nor pain nor pity in my bosom raised.

                Memory, though slow, returned with strength; and thence

                Dismissed, again on open day I gazed,

                At houses, men, and common light, amazed.

                The lanes I sought, and as the sun retired,

                Came, where beneath the trees a faggot blazed;

                The wild brood saw me weep, my fate enquired,

                And gave me food, and rest, more welcome, more desired.

                My heart is touched to think that men like these,

                The rude earth's tenants, were my first relief:

                How kindly did they paint their vagrant ease!

                And their long holiday that feared not grief,

                For all belonged to all, and each was chief.

                No plough their sinews strained; on grating road

                No wain they drove, and yet, the yellow sheaf

                In every vale for their delight was stowed:

                For them, in nature's meads, the milky udder flowed.

                Semblance, with straw and panniered ass, they made

                Of potters wandering on from door to door:

                But life of happier sort to me pourtrayed,

                And other joys my fancy to allure;

                The bag-pipe dinning on the midnight moor

                In barn uplighted, and companions boon

                Well met from far with revelry secure,

                In depth of forest glade, when jocund June

                Rolled fast along the sky his warm and genial moon.

                But ill it suited me, in journey dark

                O'er moor and mountain, midnight theft to hatch;

                To charm the surly house-dog's faithful bark,

                Or hang on tiptoe at the lifted latch;

                The gloomy lantern, and the dim blue match,

                The black disguise, the warning whistle shrill,

                And ear still busy on its nightly watch,

                Were not for me, brought up in nothing ill;

                Besides, on griefs so fresh my thoughts were brooding still.

                What could I do, unaided and unblest?

                Poor Father! gone was every friend of thine:

                And kindred of dead husband are at best

                Small help, and, after marriage such as mine,

                With little kindness would to me incline.

                Ill was I then for toil or service fit:

                With tears whose course no effort could confine,

                By high-way side forgetful would I sit

                Whole hours, my idle arms in moping sorrow knit.

                I lived upon the mercy of the fields,

                And oft of cruelty the sky accused;

                On hazard, or what general bounty yields,

                Now coldly given, now utterly refused.

                The fields I for my bed have often used:

                But, what afflicts my peace with keenest ruth

                Is, that I have my inner self abused,

                Foregone the home delight of constant truth,

                And clear and open soul, so prized in fearless youth.

                Three years a wanderer, often have I view'd,

                In tears, the sun towards that country tend

                Where my poor heart lost all its fortitude:

                And now across this moor my steps I bend —

                On! tell me whither-for no earthly friend

                Have I. - She ceased, and weeping turned away,

                As if because her tale was at an end